Naruto: Kage no Kami
by Kage-Kami-Sennin
Summary: Also could be called the misadventures of a sword-wielding competent Team 7. Slight Bleach x-over. Rated M for stuff later on.


**A/N: I do not own Naruto or anything else that happens to make a cameo appearance within this story. Everything belongs to its respective owners, which except for the plotline and any OC's, is not me.**

_**Naruto: Kage no Kami**_

_**By Kage-Kami-Sennin**_

_**001**_

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_Sometime during the Mizuki incident_

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"You are the Kyubi no Yoko!"

Naruto took a second to process this before looking back at Mizuki and shrugging nonchalantly "That's nice. Got anything else I should know?" Mizuki proceeded to face-vault and fall off the branch he was standing on, promptly landing face-first in the dirt. Naruto laughed at Mizuki for a second before bringing his hands into the familiar cross symbol "Since I don't want to dirty my best on traitorous scum like you, this new technique will have to do. Taju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Hundreds of orange-clad Naruto's surrounded the clearing and proceeded to beat Mizuki to a bloody pulp. Naruto walked over to Iruka "Hey Iruka-sensei, since the Bunshin no Jutsu is the only thing I failed on the test, does this mean I pass?" Iruka sighed for a moment before breaking into a laugh and handing Naruto his headband "Yes Naruto, this means you pass."

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The new Academy graduates had a week off while the Hokage finalized the teams. The new graduates were also expected to get their photo registration in before the end of the week. Naruto had used the time to clean up his kenjutsu and fuuinjutsu, both of which he found to be extremely interesting. He had learned about the existence of fuuinjutsu from his talk with the Hokage and kenjutsu he had discovered years before. He seemed to take to both naturally, though he was the only one that knew. He had also discovered the glory that was the Icha Icha series.

Of course, none of his classmates had heard about his special graduation as he didn't speak to any of them regularly. So there was quite a bit of surprise when he showed up at the academy at the end of the week.

"Oi, Naruto, this is for graduates only" said the lazy bum Shikamaru. Naruto just peeled back his bangs to show his headband, his face too buried in a small orange book to give any other answer. He went to an empty chair in the back and quietly continued to read. Interest went through the roof. Naruto had somehow passed, though they watched him fail. And he was reading a book. Voluntarily. In public. Many of the other students went to see if the world was ending, but Sakura and Ino came in at this moment -queue random ass argument about who gets to sit next to Sasuke- and took the attention off Naruto.

Sasuke, as usual, just ignored them and continued to brood and read Slaying Clan-Killing Older Brothers For Dummies. In fact, Sakura and Ino's argument got so intense that it broke into a full-blown wrestling match. And then, of course Iruka walked in.

"Sakura! Ino! Quit fighting and get to your seats!"

"Yes sensei."

Iruka began -queue speech about shinobi life etc. and team calling.- Naruto listened only when he heard his own name and that he was on team seven led by Kakashi Hatake. And thus he didn't notice when everyone else left for lunch while team seven stayed behind, nor did he notice when they had to wait three hours for their new sensei to arrive.

"My first impression of you guys is...you're not really worth my time. Meet me on the roof in five minutes."

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After the introductions were done and Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura left, Naruto was alone on the roof, contemplating Kakashi's words. He knew he had lied straight face to his new sensei and teammates, but it was their fault they took everything at face value. He told them exactly what they thought he was and didn't question it. A survival test, but they shouldn't eat first. Well that didn't make much sense. Naruto decided to go find someone who had Kakashi before to find information on the guy, so of course he snuck into the Academy offices. He had been there so many times he could break into it blindfolded. He also knew which file cabinets held student records, along with the fact the only thing between him and said records were a few pathetic locks. It was in a school for kids, so they couldn't have any lethal or even particularly dangerous traps set up. And of course, Naruto was a professional lock picker, courtesy of his neighborhood. He found the three who had been assigned to Kakashi last year. All three were in a review year, but Naruto happened to know one of them-Haru- personally. Naruto put everything back where it was and went to find Haru.

He found Haru in the southeast section of Konoha's Akasen-the red light district-running a card game. He waited until no one was around and then went to talk to Haru.

"Oi, Haru."

"Naruto? What's up?"

Naruto sighed and pushed up his bangs to show his hitai-ate "Hoping you could give me some info."

Haru smirked "Sure. If you win. If I win you owe me a favor. Deal?"

"Of course."

Haru dealt out two cards to each of them, one face down, the other face up. The usual for Blackjack.

"So Naruto, hit?"

"Nah, I'll stay."

"Same. I have a queen and a jack. You?"

"King and an Ace. I win this round."

"Typical. So what do you want to know?"

"I've been assigned to Kakashi Hatake..."

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Using Haru's information, Naruto ate a rather generous breakfast the next morning. Now that he was an official shinobi, he decided to wear his actual combat gear instead of that ridiculous orange jumpsuit he wore to fool people. His actual outfit consisted of thin black leather boots, baggy navy blue pants, a black t-shirt along with a Konoha flak jacket in a deep blood red color. His katana was sealed away in a scroll that was tucked in his belt. As a final touch, he decided to keep up the deception. He took a kunai and plunged it into his left hand while making a seal with the other hand, letting the blood drip onto the seal "Uzumaki Hijutsu: Chi Fuin Bunshin no Jutsu." A naked clone of Naruto warped into being and quickly got dressed in the orange jumpsuit. "Kitsuneato: Henshin no Jutsu" Naruto muttered as the jutsu took effect. He winced in pain, as usual, as his body was deconstructed and reformed into Naruto's alternate form: Nell. A eight-teen year old girl about 5'6" with long strawberry blond hair that reached her waist along with a very respectable D-cup. She didn't have Naruto's whiskers or really look anything like him. His shape shift complete, Naruto put on a crimson kimono that hugged her figure very tightly and went out to have some fun before the test.

The Chi Fuin Bunshin showed up about an hour after the said time, knowing it would still be another three hours before Kakashi arrived. About an hour and a half later, Sakura and Sasuke's stomachs' started to voice displeasure about not having anything for breakfast. _Bingo_ said clone thought as he pulled out a box of dango from a storage scroll and began to eat.

Sakura glared at 'Naruto' as if he sprouted gills "Kakashi-sensei ordered us not to eat."

"Nope" 'Naruto' replied "Kakashi-taicho suggested we not eat. And since he didn't seem to like us at first, I did some research on him. Turns out he never has passed a team so I figured everything he does until he passes us or fails us is some trick to make it easier to fail us. So of course I ate. You didn't?"

Sasuke and Sakura were shocked into silent contemplation. Apparently Naruto, the dobe loser of the academy had better analyzed the situation more accurately then they had. And they were the top two in the academy. They had no idea how to deal with this.

'Naruto' sighed "Quit gawking. I'll share if you want." When they reached for some, 'Naruto' smirked. _Perfect._

When Kakashi showed up and hour later, the scene of the three eating companionably snacking on dango shocked him so much that he just stared at them wondering why they completely disregarded his warnings.

"Oi, taicho" 'Naruto' said as the three walked over to Kakashi. Sasuke looked off into the distance while Sakura raised her finger at Kakashi accusingly, "YOU'RE LATE!"

"Well, you see Iruka and Anko were making out and as I was walking by Anko decided she wanted a threesome..." Kakashi tried to explain. Sakura glowered at him, Sasuke shook his head and 'Naruto' giggled perversely while reading his book and not really paying attention to Kakashi. Kakashi eye-smiled. He was starting to like them already.

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Kakashi wasn't surprised when 'Naruto' was the first to engage him after the genin left the trees. What did surprise him was the fact 'Naruto' was wielding a tanto in reverse-grip, like a knife. And the fact Naruto was actually quite skilled with it worried him slightly. Not in the way that he was worried about getting hit, more worried about where Naruto learned to fight like that.

'Naruto' was eventually beaten back and went into the woods, Kakashi followed, hoping to find Sasuke and Sakura. He somehow lost sight of 'Naruto' when he came to an open meadow. What he saw completely distracted his attention from the test. In the meadow picking flowers and humming to herself was a teenage girl with strawberry blond hair who was wearing a figure hugging crimson kimono. Kakashi, his mind in a trance, walked towards the girl. Said girl had the decency to be surprised when she was grabbed from behind by Kakashi, who was quite vigorously feeling her out. He didn't even notice when she took the bells from him and replaced them with disguised acorns.

Kakashi reached down towards her ass when a hand grabbed his and twisted it violently. He looked down to find a pair of blood red eyes with black slits looking back at him. he looked at the whole picture to see 'Naruto' glaring at him. "Now Kakashi-taicho, if you're done trying to grope nee-chan, we can back to the task on hand." Kakashi gulped, this situation was bad. He didn't notice when the girl hugged 'Naruto' and placed the bells in his pocket. _That girl was apparently Naruto's nee-chan. Wait a minute, I know who his parents are. He doesn't have any siblings. So confusing. Why me?_

As 'Naruto' continued his fight, Sasuke and Sakura burst out of the trees to join in. Even for Kakashi, trying to defend against all three from three different sides was mildly exerting and in the end Sakura managed to get the fake bells.

"So Sakura" began Kakashi "Which of the boys gets the second bell?"

Now Sakura was confused "But we worked together...don't we all pass?"

"I told you the rules. So who gets sent back? Or will you send both back?"

"You can't do that, Kakashi-taicho. You're bluffing. You can't fail parts of teams" 'Naruto' deadpanned.

"I assure you I am not."

Much to Kakashi's surprise, Sakura gave both bells to Naruto and Sasuke "I did the least" Sakura explained.

Kakashi sighed while smiling, knowing he finally had a team that deserved to pass his test "Good choice. You...all pass."

He noticed that the other kids gave 'Naruto' quick looks of relief.

"Alright Naruto, how did you know he was bluffing?"

'Naruto' rubbed the back of his head "Never try to con a conman."

"You?" Sasuke demanded. 'Naruto' shrugged and looked off into the distance.

"I may run some games here or there."

"Ehh" Sakura asked, confused "What do you mean by that?"

'Naruto' shrugged "A good con never tells his tricks."

Kakashi took the silence as his starting point "-queue speech about being comrades etc.- So we're officially Team 7 now. Meet at that bridge at 8:00 tomorrow morning."

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A couple days later, Kakashi decided to start conditioning his team for reality. He arrived at the training ground with three rabbits, one of which was tied up in wire and struggling massively to get free.

"Alright, it's time to try to condition you to the reality of our world. Your task to today is for each of you to kill a rabbit."

Sakura paled while Sasuke looked at Kakashi incredulously. Kakashi thought their expressions were priceless until he looked at Naruto. Much to Kakashi's horror, Naruto just shrugged and walked over to Kakashi, grabbing the tied up rabbit. Without further ado he snapped the rabbits neck without blinking, took out his tanto and removed the rabbit's head. To finish up he used some strange small green light beam to destroy the rest of the rabbit.

Sakura and Sasuke just looked at Naruto like he had grown an extra head. The display made Kakashi slightly worried. Naruto looked at the rabbit before his eyes widened and he pulled out a Bingo Book out of nowhere.

"Ah ha. This is good. Looks like I made some dough" said Naruto, getting Kakashi to raise an eyebrow.

"Well you see Kakashi-sensei, this is the famed Killer Bunny that has killing the men of some bloke calling himself King Arthur. Apparently he issued a bounty on its head for killing many of his soldiers, including his squire who went around behind him banging coconuts together."

Sasuke face-vaulted "That's strange." Then Kakashi handed the remaining rabbits to Sakura and Sasuke. Sakura took a while to finally work up the courage to kill the rabbit after thinking about what her Sasuke-kun would think if she didn't while Sasuke seemed to be trying to be trying to stare the rabbit to death.

"Umm, Sasuke, you going to kill the rabbit or what?"

Sasuke quickly broke the rabbit's neck before nearly breaking down as he fled the scene. Kakashi tried, to no avail, to stop Naruto and Sakura from going after him.

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Naruto and Sakura found Sasuke on top of the Hokage Monument. It hadn't been hard to find him as he hadn't really been trying to hide. They quickly went to sit next to him.

"WHY? Why the fuck am I so weak? How am I supposed to kill him if I can barely kill a rabbit?"

"You're not pathetic Sasuke-kun" said Sakura. Naruto shook his head a small bit.

"First time you kill something is almost always the hardest" Naruto tried to explain "If you didn't have the reaction you did, I would have been slightly nervous about being around you."

Sakura thought for a moment "So that means that wasn't your first time Naruto?"

"Another time Sakura. So Sasuke, you feel the need to kill your brother yes?"

"Yes. I must kill him to avenge my clan."

"And you think you have to do this alone why?"

"Because I must" Sasuke muttered under his breadth so quietly Naruto almost didn't hear.

Naruto pondered that for a moment "Is it more important for you to kill him quickly or alone?"

Sasuke's entire train of thought stopped dead. He thought about it a moment. Naruto decided to continue.

"Remember how we did against Kakashi just fresh out of the Academy? If we train hard enough, we can take him down as a team within the next few years, maybe sooner considering I know for a fact neither of us went all out in Kakashi's test. So we'll be there to help you with whatever you need."

"We'll be there to help you along, after all, we're put on teams for a reason" Sakura echoed.

Such unconditional support finally pushed Sasuke off the emotional edge he had refrained from since the massacre. He allowed himself to be further embraced by his teammates and though his Uchiha pride screamed against it, he didn't feel weak or ashamed.

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Three months passed rather quickly. Frustration would come up in regards to the Sharingan activation, but Kakashi was sure Sasuke would get there eventually. They had also managed the thought impossible feat of getting Sakura into competent shinobi clothing. The Team 7 official uniform, which only Kakashi was exempt from, consisted of black steel toed boots, forest camouflage pants, a black t-shirt with a black flak jacket. None of the other teams had seen this uniform before, as it was their uniform for outside the village. Only the Hokage had seen, and he very much approved. Kakashi insisted, for some reason (*cough* chunin exams *cough*), on keeping up the appearance of a dysfunctional team that could barely do D-ranks together without bad things happening.

Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke had got so fed up with D-rank missions after the first week that Kakashi taught Sasuke and Sakura the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. Of course, they could only make two or three as opposed to the hundreds Naruto could make, but it was more than enough to complete D-ranks while the actual members of Team 7 trained. The team was practicing kenjutsu, for somehow Sasuke and Sakura had obtained swords. Their swords were also katana, like Naruto's, which Kakashi had only found out about very recently. And, Kakashi noted, the swords of Sasuke and Sakura seemed to have special abilities if called out in a certain way by their owners. Kakashi wondered sometimes if Naruto, who was a natural at kenjutsu, had such a special sword as well.

"Soten ni Zase, Hyorinmaru" Sasuke said as his ice dragon extended out towards Naruto, who knocked it aside with his own sheathed blade. "Chire, Senbonzakura" Sakura said as she tried to take down Naruto in kenjutsu. Naruto had adamantly refused to draw his blade, stating he would only draw it against a highly skilled swordsman. Sasuke and Sakura had been infuriated at first, then began to train harder, knowing Naruto was miles above them in kenjutsu.

"Oi, teme, watch where you're aiming that thing. It's quite dangerous" Naruto deadpanned.

Of course, it was right after that the other three well known genin teams showed up. They hadn't seen what had gone on, but had heard what was said. Of course, Team 7 was extremely quick to take down everything they had been doing, sealing away anything important before quickly leaving and leaving a Kage Bunshin where they were after changing into their expected attire, Naruto for the orange jumpsuit with Sakura for the red whatever-that-thing is and Sasuke in his pre-teamwork epiphany clothes. After all, deception is a shinobi's greatest asset. It helped that Kakashi knew the Chunin Exams were in Konoha this time and wanted the other teams to underestimate them. So the other teams found 'Team 7,' except 'Kakashi' (who was reading porn and had acquired his own special sword) all moving around with bandages tied around their heads covering their eyes.

"My eternal rival...wait, this is how you spend training time?"

Asuma took a cigarette out "I agree, this is very irresponsible of you, Kakashi. How will you guys do missions if all you do is useless stuff like that?"

'Sasuke' snorted "Simple, we send Kage Bunshin to do missions while we train here."

"Ok that's it Kakashi" Kurenai interjected "You taught genin the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu? You should get demoted for irresponsibility."

"Now Sasuke, no telling them our secret ways" 'Kakashi' chided in a semi-sarcastic voice.

"Sorry sensei" 'Sasuke' said as he internally rolled his eyes.

Asuma snickered at this "So what are you trying to teach them?"

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Meanwhile, at Team 7's real training ground...far, far away from Konoha, as to not destroy it when training with their swords released.

"Ne, Naruto, what will it take for you to actually unsheathe and release your sword?"

Naruto thought about it for a moment "When you use Bankai against me, I'll release my sword."

Sasuke and Sakura looked crestfallen, they knew they hadn't gotten to Bankai yet. Kakashi was smirking "Bankai ehh? Alright." Kakashi stood up and unsheathed his sword while Sasuke and Sakura looked at him wide-eyed "Bankai: Kokujo Tengen Myo o!"

Naruto laughed before unsheathing his own sword "Adjuntar, Murcielago."

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A/N: And that's that. Reviews and constructive critics welcome. Flames...not so much.


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